Dear Diary,
Little Ron is starting to piss me off. He knocks over stuff all the time, he is a barrier to loving Jane (because he won't leave our side, sleeping in the same bed the whole time) and he is flea-infested (today is anti-flea shampoo bath day). Ron barks and growls at other pets, he drinks our bedside water, I want to release him into the wild with a little knap-sack and water bottle, then say "There you go mate: the great outdoors!". Alas, finally, he's just too damn cute to do that to.
The little stray bastard,
Maximus.
